Knee Jerk goes deep on the true definition of a catch
Knee Jerk:
Hey everyone, lots of intense action on the field to cover from yesterday, so let’s dive right in. Knee’s got a tee time…
Jamie Porch, NY Nightly Times:
Good morning, Knee. Week after week, we find ourselves delving into rule issues stemming from Sunday games, and the persistent question is, “Is it a catch?”
Considering the overturned Odell Beckham Jr. touchdown against the Patriots yesterday, where do you stand on the NFL’s efforts to define what qualifies as a catch?
Knee Jerk:
The thing about a catch is…it kind of hinges on the…well, it obviously varies with the angle of the…of the… I mean, considering the interpretation of Rule 17 A…or B…it’s pretty evident that once a player establishes the integrity of the…of the…bear in mind the control of the football before…before the defenseless player’s crown…unless, of course, the ground can’t trigger a football move. Then, voila, it’s a catch. Simple.
To address your question, the game has seen significant improvement under Roger Goodell.
Words can’t quite capture the enhanced state of things. The NFL is doing an exceptionally commendable job defining catches; frankly, I’m a bit surprised you even had to ask.
It seems the public might not be quite sharp enough to grasp the sheer awesomeness.
Jamie:
Apologies for any confusion—I’m doing my best to keep up. I’m not a football expert like you and Roger.
Could you simplify that answer so the average fan can understand when a catch is and isn’t?
Knee Jerk:
Simple? Why simplify? Catches aren’t simple, Jamie. I just explained what a catch is. Maybe it’s not something the average fan is meant to grasp. Ever think of that?
The NFL is evolving with the times—keep up. Players today are more prominent, faster, stronger. What was a catch in 1980 isn’t a catch anymore because of technology.
Vince Lombardi and Paul Brown thought they knew what a catch was, but they didn’t have the technology back then. Roger does now. We live in a particular time.
Jamie:
Got it. So, one more time for clarity. What exactly is a catch?
Knee Jerk:
A catch is… oh, hey, Barry. Great question. This is what the Broncos need to do with Peyton Manning; they just—
Barry Channel, Rocky Mountain Post:
—I didn’t say anything, Knee.
Knee Jerk:
You sure, Barry?
Barry:
Positive.
Knee Jerk:
Yes, you did.
Barry:
No, I didn’t. You didn’t answer Jamie’s question.
But I guess I’ll ask my question now. With the new reports that Peyton Manning not only has “feel” issues in his throwing hand and a recently discovered rib injury but also a torn plantar fascia in his left foot, should the Broncos sit Peyton Manning until he’s fully healthy?
Knee Jerk:
As I mentioned, the Broncos should’ve parted ways with Peyton Manning ages ago. His throwing ability has taken a nosedive. Quarterbacks should, you know, be able to throw things.
Barry:
Valid point about the throwing aspect, but isn’t suggesting to “cut” Manning a bit extreme? Shouldn’t the team give him time to recover in the hope that he can contribute later?
Knee Jerk:
Bad idea, Barry. When a horse breaks its leg, you’ve got to put it down—for its own good. It’s the same deal here.
If Peyton can’t quarterback for the Broncos, it’s time to make some tough decisions.
Barry:
That’s a terrible metaphor, right? You’re not seriously suggesting Manning should be “put down,” are you?
Knee Jerk:
Let me put it this way: What’s a fish without water, Barry? A sunflower without the sun? Pizza without pepperoni? They’re nothing. If Peyton can’t play football, some hard choices must be considered.
Barry:
You’re out of your mind. I can’t believe you’re saying this.
Knee Jerk:
Hold on, Barry. I didn’t explicitly say to “put him down.” I just strongly hinted at it. It’s a metaphorical floor, as you mentioned. Definitely one of those. Next question…
Chaz Burbank, Arizona Telegram:
What’s your takeaway from the Cardinals‘ significant victory against the Seahawks in Seattle?
Knee Jerk:
I see it as Russell Wilson being done in the NFL. He just can’t keep up. I mean, what was he, 14-32? Impressive.
I know Carson Palmer and Russell Wilson, you’re no Carson Palmer. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—running quarterbacks don’t win championships.
Chaz:
Except for Super Bowls, I guess.
Knee Jerk:
That was a fluke. It’s time for the Seahawks to seek a tall pocket quarterback like the Cardinals have.
Chaz:
Would it be accurate to say that your stance on mobile quarterbacks changes with each passing week?
Knee Jerk:
No, no, that’s way off. I’ve been consistently clear. The only time I defend mobile quarterbacks is when they play well and win. I’ve maintained that stance.
Chaz:
Fair enough. Since the Seahawks aren’t changing QBs—they just signed Russell Wilson to a huge contract—how can they maximize his talents?
Knee Jerk:
Simple. Bring in Peyton Manning to mentor him—show Wilson the ropes of pocket quarterbacking as a behind-the-scenes personal coach. A little birdie hinted that the Broncos might part ways with Manning anyway.
Chaz:
You made that up.
Knee Jerk:
Nope. Can’t disclose my sources. That’s how it goes, Chaz. I didn’t make the rules; I just follow them. Next question…
Shane Cobbler, Green Bay Herald:
The Packers face challenges after three consecutive losses, especially with a lackluster offensive performance against a rather average Lions defense. It’s not a phrase commonly uttered around Wisconsin, but to what extent can Aaron Rodgers be held accountable for this slump?
Knee Jerk:
Shane. Shane! You take that question back. Reconsider that question right now!
Shane:
You don’t have to respond if you’re uncomfortable, Knee. But the question remains.
Knee Jerk:
Alright, hotshot. You want to challenge the king? Buckle up. Aaron Rodgers is phenomenal. P-H-E-N-O-M-E-N-A-L—spell it out.
The issue is that Aaron Rodgers doesn’t have enough weapons. He doesn’t get adequate blocking. According to the NFL Rulebook, losses can’t be blamed on Aaron Rodgers. Check yourself, reporter man.
Shane:
I think you’re steering this in a different direction than intended. Just seeking your perspective on Rodgers’ performance amid the team’s struggles.
Knee Jerk:
I just… I mean… I can’t even. Aaron Rodgers. How dare you, Shane? How. Dare. You. Aaron Rodgers is a saint, just like Dorothy Mantooth.
And that concludes this press conference. Thank Shane, for wrapping this up. Take note, people. Avoid questioning football saints. Knee out…
